I'm not a bad girl.

In the language of first graders: I'm not a bad girl. I just make bad choices. Like going to the outlet mall on Black Friday. Bad idea. And all my own - people tried to talk me out of it. I don't know what came over me. Thinking of shoes, maybe? I don't know.

It's not that I never shop in the real world. I do. I have kids, I go to Target, I admit it. But mostly, I dwell in this little, insular handmade world where every item is personal and precious. I was totally unprepared for the depressing effect of mountains of discounted merchandise. Totally. Unprepared.

And if you are bracing yourself for lengthy blather about the woeful commercialization of Christmas, don't. I love presents and honestly, "Santa can hear you" is pretty much my favorite parenting tool right now.

It's just that when I buy two pairs of children's gloves for five dollars, I have to stay up all night thinking about poverty and global economic systems and what would have been better: paying $10 or not buying them at all. The best choice would probably have been paying $60 for hand knit gloves made of undyed alpaca wool from animals fed only organic whatever it is that alpacas eat.

Problem solved. Let's go run around on Pismo Beach. Please, don't lose your gloves.