What's the deal?

The Factory is closed, and the Studio is open! Or, it will be as soon as I excavate it from the rubble. I'm ready to wander again....

So, what's the deal, you ask? You can see the outcome of my creative wandering and experimental sewing efforts in the reNEW section of the shop. Great new stuff AND free shipping!

How lovely is that?

Sweet Dreams

8x8 print, $30 at janeheller

I have a theory.

I'm not a lawyer, or a constitutional scholar, but sometimes I wish I was. Kind of in the same way that I long to be a forensic accountant, but that's another story altogether.

Anyway, I'm not a lawyer and maybe that why I'm a little confused about the California Supreme Courts decision to uphold Prop 8. Actually, the upholding isn't the part that confuses me, but since you didn't ask and are unlikely to be interested, I will go on at length. Because I have a theory.

1. On Tuesday, the CA Supreme Court upheld Proposition 8, which states that: Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. That part I understand - those who know me know how passionately I am opposed to Prop 8, but I understand that 52% of the voters disagreed with me and that this is the proper way to amend the Constitution of California.

2. The Court also ruled that the 18,000 same-sex marriages that took place before the November 2008 election will stand. Because laws go into effect prospectively, not retro-actively. I get it, I'm with you.

3. In her concurring opinion, Justice Werdegar says (and I quote):

Equal protection’s continuing vitality in the present context is shown by this court’s unanimous reaffirmation of its conclusions in the Marriage Cases, supra, 43 Cal.4th 757, that laws discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation are subject to strict scrutiny, and that — excepting the name — same-sex couples are entitled to enjoy all of the rights of marriage. Accordingly, all three branches of state government continue to have the duty, within their respective spheres of operation, today as before the passage of Proposition 8, to eliminate the remaining important differences between marriage and domestic partnership, both in substance and perception. The measure puts one solution beyond reach by prohibiting the state from naming future same-sex unions “marriages,” but it does not otherwise affect the state’s obligation to enforce the equal protection clause by protecting the “fundamental right . . . of same-sex couples to have their official family relationship accorded the same dignity, respect, and stature as that accorded to all other official recognized family relationships.” (Marriage Cases, supra, at p. 830.) For the state to meet its obligations under the equal protection clause will now be more difficult, but the obligation remains.

Wait! What? So the State cannot call anything other than the union between a man and a woman "marriage" but it must accord equal rights of marriage as well as equal dignity, respect, and stature to all unions....Okay? Which brings me to my theory: The State of California has to get out of the marriage business. Because it cannot "marry" everyone equally, the State will have to "marry" no-one at all - and offer Domestic Partnerships to all couples, regardless of sexual orientation, as the alternative.

Somehow, I doubt it will come to that, but there's a part of me - the petty, vindictive part - that hopes it does. It's mean, I know. But if my kids can't share something, I just take it away. It seems to work. That's my theory.

Contrary to popular opinion....

Contrary to popular opinion.... "your" and "you're" are different words with different meanings.

Toilet humor: day 2

Toilet humor: day 1

me: I thought this primer was supposed to "cover all colors."

my handsome husband: yeah, but not all at the same time.

9. Go to a baseball game.

They had hot dogs, peanuts, cracker jack, pretzels, chocolate milk, churros and the hiccups. And started begging to go home at the top of the fourth. Go A's!

Toilet humor: day 0

Remember, this is only a picture, so you're not getting the whole effect. You're not getting the ugliness at full strength. Consider yourself lucky.

Toilet humor.

When we moved in to this house, the living room was bright green. And yellow. And orange. And purple. And pink. If you think that's funny, you should see the bathroom. It's painted to match the living room. Of course it is, why wouldn't it be?

10 things I want to do with my kids this summer.

In no particular order, at no particular time, possibly in pajamas.....

1. Visit the SF MOMA

2. Have a picnic, with kite flying

3. Tie dye

4. Swim in 2 oceans

5. Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge

6. Go camping

7. Paint a mural

8. Visit the East Bay Depot for Creative Reuse

9. Go to a baseball game

10. Ride on a train

Viva la Summer Mom!

Summer Mom.

I've been thinking about Summer Mom a lot lately. Summer Mom is my favorite. Autumn Mom makes you do your homework and Holiday Mom is a little stressed out, Spring Mom has allergies, but Summer Mom? Is the best. She smells like sunscreen, has a flip-flop tan and takes you to the drive-through for milkshakes when it's too hot in the car. She lets you stay in your pajamas until eleven; encourages it, even. She lets you play with the garden hose and she isn't so strict about what you eat for dinner most nights and when you go to bed.

I know Summer Mom shouldn't start until school gets out, but I'm afraid I'm already there....

We can do it!

Wandering aimlessly has been pretty wonderful, but Mamas gotta have their Go To Market Bags, so the Factory is re-opening this week. Working conditions here at the Factory are pretty deplorable. We do have Peet's coffee and on-site child ignoring, but otherwise.... Maybe, I'll form a Union! I just need to get organized, and make a list of demands, and chain myself to the fence....

Anything to avoid doing actual work.

Sometimes, you're driving.

Sometimes, you're driving on Franklin Street and there's traffic so you're moving slowly or not at all. And then there's a homeless guy walking toward you, between the lanes of traffic, and because you were once a resident of this city and because you have liberal guilt, you try to look nonchalant in a not-ignoring-you-but-not-making-meaningful-eye-contact-either kind of way (San Franciscans, you know what I'm talking about) while inside you're thinking: (Insert your favorite expletive here), this guy looks like trouble.

And this particular gentleman of the street was trouble indeed. I'm not sure what he hit the rear window of my car with, but he broke it into 1000 tiny pieces.

On the bright side, I am okay, my kids were not with me, and I now know how to file a police report online.

Array.

Disarray.

Questions.

Seamus has been asking a lot of questions lately - and they're not easy ones. They're not questions like: What is Yoda's home planet? or If we used all the water on earth, could we put out the sun? Nooooo. Not like that.

More like, (holding up a blue cup) Why is this blue?

What is that? Does he mean, why is it blue at a molecular level? Is it a philosophical question? Is it linguistic - why do we call everything from azure to cobalt "blue"? Does he wonder why I've randomly chosen to give him the blue cup instead of some other color? Is there a pattern? Do I have an ulterior motive? Is he asking how our eyes physiologically detect the color blue? Is he being ironic? Can a six-year-old possibly understand irony? Is he asking how and why the two of us have come to exist in the same space and time as this singular and amazing blue cup? I don't know.

So I stand in the kitchen blinking at him, and then I say something motherly, like: Do you want milk, or what?

I heart recycling.

Look what I felt like making today! This used to be a shirt, and now it's: a shirt - but a much smaller, girlier shirt than it used to be. So now I have something to wear to this trunk show, for which I am otherwise woefully unprepared. That's a comfort.

Home.

Yesterday, I made this sweet little banner with hand-appliqued letters and vintage handkerchief trim. Because that's what I felt like making.

Funny little strawberries.

I'm sure there was something I was supposed to be doing on Saturday, but instead - I made these funny little lavender-filled strawberries. Because that's what I felt like making.

On being lost at a slightly inopportune time.

It's not the worst of all possible times for me to be wandering aimlessly through the creative wilderness, but I have my very first trunk show coming up one week from today and I generally do enjoy being prepared for that sort of thing.

But my hyperactive work ethic has hitchhiked to Burning Man or somewhere, so I think I'm just going to have to wing it. Which is both liberating and nauseating.

On being lost.

I've lost something. Maybe myself.

I'm suffering from a paucity of inspiration and confidence. Feeling mediocre and fraudulent, bored, and boring. I'm working too hard - on things that shouldn't be work, and torturing myself over arbitrary (and self-imposed) deadlines.

I've been struggling mightily to get back on course, to recapture my focus and determination.

And then, this morning I woke up and realized that maybe it's not about getting back on course. It's possible that I need to just be. Lost. And see how that feels for a while.

In the interest of full disclosure, someone did, kind of, tell me essentially that, yesterday. And I dismissed it because it sounded like total crap at the time. It just took about 12 hours to sink in. So, you know who you are and you were right.

PHOTO: Brass Pocket Compass with Chain, $45 at kapadesigns. Lovely, isn't it?

Honeymoon salad.

Honeymoon salad made from greens grown in my backyard and cut five minutes before serving. Dressed in a little orange-infused olive oil. Delicious.

What is honeymoon salad? Lettuce alone.

Hey, May.

May is here! To be honest, I'm a little behind schedule on new things for May. And? I don't feel overly terrible about it - which is not at all like me. Maybe it's all the yoga...

New things for May will arrive when they do.

Consider this a preview....

How lovely is that?

I know

5 x7 reproduction, $8 at michelemaule

Michele Maule is having a sale - go shopping! I mean, you'll have to see if she has anything left, because I kind of just bought everything. yeeph!

Why I love The Onion.

Thank you Tom Peters, for pointing me to this today. It made me smile. And when I say "smile" I mean "laugh until the kids complain."

Flirting.

I'm flirting with the idea of buying only organic cotton fabrics when I buy new fabric. I mostly buy old things for BananaSaurus Rex, but I do buy plenty of new cottons and it's not a good thing.

Cotton is the most heavily sprayed crop in the world. 5% of the world's agricultural land is planted with cotton, but it accounts for 16% of the pesticide usage. It's gross.

The organic cotton industry is growing, but right now less than 1% of the cotton produced is organic. And, frankly? It shows. There are only a handful of retailers who stock organic cotton yardage and most carry a very limited selection. And it's wicked expensive. But, what the heck! I love having only two color choices and paying twice as much!

Going organic won't happen overnight. I have a significant stockpile of conventionally produced fabric that I have to work through.

But I'm flirting with the idea. And waiting to see if it flirts back.

The Keep.

Because I am bookish and don't get out enough, my new Treasury is an ode The Keep by Jennifer Egan. It's an amazing novel and I'm a little wrecked by it. I'd say more, but I don't want to ruin it for you.